Thursday, November 19, 2009

Yes...I admit it! (Sigh) I am in the theater right see New Moon.

Fingers are crossed for some better acting.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I never learn

Ever since I was a little girl I've been afraid of needles. Naturally at my age (don't ask...I'm old...enough) I've had plenty of shots that didn't even hurt. It's the several that DID hurt that haunt my memories, that tighten my chest making it difficult to breathe, that make me clench my fists and look away.

I had blood work done this morning and the needle was so tiny and the nurse was very kind and gentle yet I was still holding a grudge and judging both the nurse and needle based on my prejudiced view and I acted like a little kid.

How embarassing :(

Saturday, November 14, 2009

I consider it littering when someone throws something in my yard or driveway that's completely unsolicited.

Some dirty unmarked white van just drove by and threw a yellow bag at my mailbox. So now I have to go out and throw it away.


Do you ever feel like you just get stupid after hours of writing?

Sometimes I'll have an idea, try to write, do something stupid, then someone else points it out and I'm like "Yeah...dur!"

I had a "dur" moment last night. I don't know what I'd do without my fellow members at the AW forum.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Wow...I actually made it to the gym tonight. And I have plans to aerobicize in the morning and visit the gym again on Saturday. Woot! Woot!

So, I'm not loving this NaNo thing. I was not prepared for it and I am not even having fun with the story. But, I am still gonna plug along when I get the time. I wrote another 200 words tonight. The story is stuck and not going anywhere and when I stop and try to figure it out I ended up doing a bunch of thinking and no typing!!

New train of 9yr old cooked dinner tonight. Yes. My 9 year old daughter. She's taken some cooking classes, summer school workshops, etc. and so I let her pick out some recipes and make dinner. It was pretty cool. Kids will amaze you if you can step back and give them some breathing room. It was an asian inspired dish. Spring onion pancakes, and some kind of eggs that were dark green from all the chives and soy sauce. And we had a plum sauce for dipping. Neato!

I enjoyed my Office and 30 Rock, did some writing, did some forum posting and blogging. Now I'm gonna read for 10 minutes and try to get some sleep. I hope to get my NaNo over 3K this weekend and that's it. No big goal there.


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I promise to get a handle on my life before I end up in the ER with an anxiety attack. I didn't want to commit to NaNo but I went ahead and gave it a whirl this past weekend and ended up writing 2500 words on Sunday. Not bad for one afternoon in the midst of a bunch of errands and events and stuff.

Tonight I banged out a 300 short story (if you can call it that) for a contest. I submitted with fingers crossed. I read it to my husband and he didn't really care for it. Of course I didn't share it with him until AFTER I submitted it. Ugghhh!! se la vie

I still have not worked exercising into my daily routine...or even a weekly routine.

And I'm not praying with consistency or reading with consistency. The only thing consistant is the need for consistency. I need a plan and the discipline to stick with it.

And now it is late I need sleep. G'nite!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Burnt Chicken

I could have used some more extra hours this weekend, but I did the best with what I had.

This weekend was pretty packed...the longest UNO game E-V-E-R, meal planning and grocery shopping, It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, a little cleaning, Halloween with our close friends, Church, Girl Scout troop training, a little personal reading, some writing, some beta-reading critiqing (a lot of -ing's). I was feeling pretty good about getting it all done and keeping a smile on my face.

But when I tried to fry some chicken tonight (something I don't even claim to know how to do) I got frustrated when the last batch got burned.

I find this to be a trend in my life - worrying over something little and not showing gratitude for everything else this trivial event blocks out. My focus is too narrow and lacking the appreciation that I should have for the many accomplishments that I actually did achieve.

Rather than thanking God 100x each day for waking up, not getting into a car accident, not struggling with the symptoms of a fatal disease, not being oppressed or the victim of a hate-crime, or simply for having a plethora of blessings (wonderful family, beautiful home, two working cars, family close by, full-time job with benefits, democracy, etc.)...I think about the inconveniences in my life and those I love.

You wouldn't believe how stupid I sound having one-sided conversations with the horrible drivers on the roads of Charlotte (seriously we are right up there with New Yorkers). My heart rate speeds up and I allow myself to actually wish there was a police officer around to "give them what they deserve." How awful is that? I should pray for them and think loving thoughts instead of getting angry.

Occasionally, I admit to feeling like I deserve to spend money on manicures and pedicures, and try to think of ways to work this into our normal budget. How petty! Why do I deserve this? Less money than the cost of a mani-pedi could support a child in a third world country and yet I struggle with that idea. The desire to treat myself is so strong it actually hurts sometimes.

I will think no more about this chicken. And I will eat the chicken. Granted, I'll smother it in extra Thai sauce, but I will not toss it. As I chew...and chew...I'll remember that it takes a few mistakes to appreciate perfection and that not everything will meet my stringent expectations.